What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
Seriously? You DON'T remember putting all those Swedish fish in the waffle iron b/c you wanted "One big Swedish fish?" That waffle iron was a wedding gift.
Life Goals: never under any circumstances, pee in an elevator again. No matter how drunk
Where are you? Your parents are here. Their flight got in early.
Trashy Tequila Tuesdays. Have them meet me here @ the bar.
I'm not sending your parents to see you drunk at a gay bar. What kind of boyfriend do you think I am?
A great one. Entertain them i'll be home soon....... I think
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
My friends say stay away from him but it’s still 2017 so I’m allowed to make shit decisions until midnight hahah
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