I think someone spiked my drink last night. .. Like all 20 of them.
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
At the bar. Madeline and I totally brought our own pitcher from home because they always run out. Hello alcoholism.
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
We got the possum out of our house. We built a maze with our empty kegs and chased it with brooms.
I just watched the lion king for the first time in years. It's like the equivalent of a really good blow job.
Woke up next to a tiki torch spooning a plastic flamingo on a welcome mat i've never seen before with a "happy valentines day" balloon tied to my wrist, oh yeah and "i am a cougar" is written on my chest in sharpee and all the kitchen furniture is upside down...
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
Next time you decide to go downstairs hungover, please warn me. I now have to explain to twenty eight year olds why you were naked.
Randomize
