You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
I feel like somehow my uterus ended up in my ribcage from all the keg stands i did last night..
you inspire me to be a worse person
I won't go into too much detail about this but you should probably wash your sheets. In bleach. Or just burn them. Thanks for letting me sleep in your bed bro. Enjoy scotland.
She slapped his drink out of his hand to get him to leave the bar while he and I were having an intense debate about the lyrics to mmmbop
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
So many questions so I’ll prioritize. How did I survive last night?
woke up with a tree in my apartment. also the everclear bottle is suspiciously low
suspiciously? i think one of those explains the other
What are you, a fucking toaster ?
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
I woke up while she was taking a panoramic photo of my morning wood
Randomize
