I just put my retainer in and it tastes like weed
We need to start having sex underwater more often.
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
In college, I had one standard. Penis. A lot has changed since then. Now I really only have one standard. Breathing.
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
you know she was a bad idea when your mom offers to pay for an eHarmony account
You showed up at my front door in a bikini with a fifth of tequila it was like the opening to a porno
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
Randomize
