I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
in the middle of giving him head in the backseat of my car he taps me on the shoulder, opens the door, throws up three times and then proceeds to tell me how amazing i am.
They woke me up at 4 in the morning screaming "drunk adventure time!" because they needed a sober chaperone. They made me walk them around the block shoeless.
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
OH MY GOD I CAN'T WAIT TO BONE YOUR EX BOYFRIEND. HOW AWKWARD IS THIS?
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
There's nothing more rewarding than telling you that I fucked your dad
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
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