She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
Just snuck alcohol into the hospital for my mom.
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
I woke up and we were making out. So the good news is that after two years off the market, I haven't lost a step. I'm picking up girls in my sleep now.
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
Your dignity remains intact. He, on the other hand, is completely convinced he slept with your cat.
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
Stripper just cleaned my glasses with her nipple...
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
I just delete my bank app from my phone to have enough storage to download tindr. Is this my life now?
Randomize
