am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
I woke up with a new Tiffanys necklace on. I'm such a classy drunk.
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
Wake up, take the dog to the trails, puke in the woods. More days should start like this.
To my ex and my favorite mistake: I totally enjoyed hearing you have erectile disfunction via baby monitor!
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
I just got offered free tattoos if I smuggle some guns from OKC to Dallas for a guy in the hells angels
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
Randomize
