It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
I'm telling everyone at work the mark on my neck is a hickey but really I was taking a shit while straightening my hair and burned myself
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
We ended up getting arrested after we flagged down the cops for a ride home with open beers in our hands... turns out the "nobody told me" excuse doesn't cut it anymore
He wasn't lying when he said he was immune to pepperspray. He pretended it burned for like 12 seconds and told the cops he was kidding he was alright. We'll be there soon.
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
You ass. You're not the one who bought me flowers, so obviously you will not be the recipient of the blow job of gratitude.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
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