SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
I haven't shaved in at least a week, he said "obviously neither one of us was prepared for this"
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
Eating pizza and drinking wine while I watch the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show. The wine is for reducing the pain of falling asleep with more insecurities than what I woke up with.
We need a full length mirror. I just ate it trying to look at my shoes on the toilet. But aside from a arm bruise I'm good to go
The lady at the Humaine Society gave me her nephew's number because I seem like a loving and caring person.
Does she know that each time you've adopted a new cat in the past year it's because some guy stopped fucking you and you don't want to eat your feelings?
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
Well, I woke up on a roll-away, with a knot in the back of my head and penis confetti stuck to me. Also, I apparently literally gave the shirt off my back right before I passed out, so I was topless. Vegas won this trip.
I did stay at work til 5 but for the last hour I was just taking naked pics on my desk for some tinder guy
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
Who was that dick in the suit telling us to stop drinking?
The priest.
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
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