we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
good news: I made it out of bed and into shower. Bad news: I made it back to bed without clothes. Worse news: I don't know this bed.
What wine did you feed Jack? Might not want to waste the good stuff on kitties. Kitties only get box wine.
"I'm gonna wax that ass" was the successful pick up line used on me last night. Clearly I had a few too many cause it worked..
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
Just convinced a housekeeper at work to set up her 401k. Gotta start hittin the gb every morning before work. Happy 420
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
My ex's new gf is pregnant and he is sterile, so 2016 is starting off well.
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
mid-sex she goes "oh my god. you aren't even going to remember my name in the morning, are you?". And i was so wasted that i straight up told her "honestly, I don't even remember your name right now"
Randomize
