Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
Literally just spent 45 minutes converting my paintball gun to shoot condoms....
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
Hey remember that time you called a woman a "man in a dress" and then threw up in a drinking fountain?
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
Apparently she broke up w/ her bf like 3 weeks ago. She actually called me to be her bday hookup cause she's single now. Patience- the virtue that occasionally pays off.
I woke up with "To whom it may concern" sharpied on my dick
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
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