Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
Yeah. I stopped her before she flashed the guy for a free slice of pizza. She called me a gentleman and then before I knew it she was in my bed.
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
There are so many things that would come back to haunt me if I ran for President someday.
like that video of you mad stoned vomiting in the bdubs parking lot after going to a pizza buffet screaming how you needed to make room for froyo
Wat
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
No dude, I'm not naming my kid after your beard
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
I watch one musical on Netflix, and the "Suggested for you" section is literally almost the entire gay movie category. I feel profiled, and netflixs' accuracy about my sexuality is both impressive and offensive.
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
And for some reason every time I get drunk I just want to tell you that I have a mini secret personal fan club of your dick
long story short, he tried to fuck me standing up, toppled over, and now I have four stitches next to my eye
My house exploded and with it all my pot went up in smoke.
Randomize
