Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
Eating a burrito bowl w/ queso sauce is about as cool as the first time you have sex w/ out a condom
i just wanna soil my oats bro
i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
Hi, I just found this phone under my seat at a brewers game and seeing as you're entered in as 'fillllatio' I figured I'd ask you if you know the illiterate ass who owns this phone. Thanks :)
The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
As I'm trying to leave her house she shushes me and puts my hand on her boob, then goes back to sleep. In like 30seconds. What the fuck.
just saw a kid get pissed on buy a tiger at the zoo. His dad is rofling and the kid is crying. I think I have to go make a new friend
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
Randomize
