hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
I wish they made portable blow up dolls for girls.
It's called a dildo, genius. Go to sleep.
stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
Where are you and why am I suddenly responsible for your taquitos?
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
I got a 5 dollar bill, 1 condom, and no alcohol. I get payed on Thursday. Let's do this shit.
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
who gets drunk at chipotle by noon and then gets kicked out? this chick.
Randomize
