This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
I called her 20 times. Apparently she went home to do MORE shots before bed. Didnt miss me until this morning. WHO FORGETS THEIR HIGHSCHOOL SISTER AT A FRAT?
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
Oh I know babe. You're shining beacon of adult responsibility. That's why I go down on you.
I go down on you because abs
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
Plus idk what to say. Like hello dapper gentleman will you pursue me in a midnight hangout where I can be choked
Okay, so when I go to meet your grandma, let's do a quick cum check to we don't have another "what's that on your face?" situation.
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldn’t do it.
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
I used to want you to marry him...Now I just think you deserve a bigger penis than that.
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