he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
Ladies and gentlemen, the only person I know who would keg stand in pearls and a bow.
don't judge my taste in strippers
The three of us were sitting silently in my dining room at 4:30 am, half drunk, eating cold spaghetti and listining to death metal. I need a fucking cigarette.
I didn't want dick. I wanted spaghetti.
You know that thing where you wouldn't typically eat ass but you're in love with him so you want to eat his ass, because it's HIS ass
Randomize
