for our anniversary he stepped it up a notch and bought cool whip rather than the store brand. i was impressed.
don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
we were all standing in the kitchen taking shots and we look over at you and your face is in the plate of spaghetti you were eating.
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
If I had a dollar for every time i woke up screaming for my pants i"d have enough money to buy all the beer I stole last night.
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
I have had my dick inside of entirely too many people at this wedding in order for me to be the groom. Please give me a swift kick in the dick to wake me up from this nightmare
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
I know you would never do it--but if I ever walk into your house and find a "live love laugh" ANYTHING, I will commit you to an asylum. If it is a vinyl decal adhered to the wall, I will just smother you myself.
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