I am I'm going to have heart failure he's peed on my life.
Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
Said he had been eating pineapple for a week before our 1st date. Not sure if thankful for his consideration or offended by his assumption.
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
What's a "vodkaffle"?
It's where she puts vodka in the waffle mix.
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
A woman with Alzheimer's pointed at me and said, "Don't forget to wear socks, because you're a lady!" I think it's legit advice.
Current status: Finding an unwrapped portion of Subway sandwich in my purse at the pharmacy counter & picking pieces of tomato off my wallet while the pharmacist watches disdainfully.
Did you offer her some?
If only. Current status: Not that clever.
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
Randomize
