I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
How does one chug a beer and swing the bottle at someone in a single motion? This guys a beer ninja man
All of the texts in my phone just say "BEER". I woke up with glowsticks on my arm. What happened last night?
I have grass duct taped all over my body
He broke up with me because "we're at different points in our lives" I think it's because he saw a drag queen with their hand halfway down my pants
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
Moral of the story: always keep condoms in your bra
I think he's like 40 and maybe a little sociopathetic and i have never been so turned on
Another text to add to the intervention pile, i see
we were all too drunk to realize that the cat wasnt yours
I can’t believe I made out with a flat earther and didn’t know about it until now!
I'm literally trapped as the little spoon on a mattress on the floor of an unfinished basement with a professional athlete snoring in my hair
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