His pubic hair was longer than his dick
Just drove past a church with a sign near it that said, "God wants to be your daddy."
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
I'm going to crush up my last 7 Percocets into a fine powder and toss my popcorn in it.
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
Did we kick in my basement door last night?
Yes. I think you actually bought tennis shoes specifically for that application.
I’ve had a lot of vodka, 3 different dicks and no food since last night. Come get me
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
Randomize
