Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
Okay, tomorrow we'll have a day of life-sorting and plasma-selling.
Why can't burritos get me drunk
hold on i need to sex proof my eyelashes. thank godd for waterproof mascara
whole 5th of capt = waking up in the shower after 2 hours and the whole house asking why i'm STILL in a towel. and me having nothing to say
Randomize
