She said her name was "party"
I got so many pubes stuck in her braces that when she yanked her head, I cried out like that one girl you "accidentally" rear-ended last week. Bald spots are battle scars.
I woke up with a Nike swoosh shaved into my chest hair. my friend got 3 stitches. my phone had a text that simply read "fuck you". I say it was a good party.
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
How does one chug a beer and swing the bottle at someone in a single motion? This guys a beer ninja man
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.
Vodka and Jamison is not a mixed drink
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
The best part about theater chicks is nothing is too cliche or out of line. I just fucked her Braveheart style in my entry way while saying goodbye.
I just found three upside down bottles of grapejuice in a triangle around the air freshener above my toilet... I guess it was one of those nights
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