I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
Also, we should really buy some bandaids. Right now I'm using toilet paper and scotch tape, but I don't really think that's sanitary.
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
I'm driving while wearing hulk hands
I'm going to crush up my last 7 Percocets into a fine powder and toss my popcorn in it.
I just realized I'm currently not eating carbs, drinking alcohol or having sex. 2014 is off to a horrible start.
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
You were wearing a sequin mini, with Tevas. And you still got laid.
Nah, i wasn't offended. Having a bridesmaid who you had had multiple threesomes with your future husband would be weird.
at one point, you reached into your purse, pulled out a tampon, and proceeded to rub it on your lips like chapstick... that drunk
I’m gonna slowly take you in my mouth and push you deep into my throat so my lips are right up against your body and then I’m gonna fucking bite your shit off if one more of our friends shows me a snap you took while I was giving you head. Are we clear?
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
Randomize
