I want to have your abortion
yo - did your mom get a boob job (I think she did)
Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
i think every time you texted me i responded with 'bathroom floor'
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
She stopped laughing and kind of stared at the wall for a while. Then she did 3 somersaults and said she saw jesus. This weed is fucking fantastic.
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
These last few days with George, grandma, and now Carrie all dying have been pushing me further and further into rum's sweet embrace.
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
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