Assholes at mcdonalds drive through wouldn't serve us last night even though we said we were on small motorcycles that were to small for them to see and weren't heavy enough for the sensors. We made noises and everything.
I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
You just got cockblocked by Conan O'Brien.
my dentist asked me why my tooth was chipped, i told him i couldn't remember. i think he understands.
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
At least life still wants to fuck me.
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
I've officially slept through a hurricane, a tornado and had sex during an earthquake. I'm surviving.
Just stopped at a cross walk because the light turned red 3 streets down. I'm way too high.
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
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