Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
I think I just was a dick to Paul Rudd.
I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
i had the deer in headlights look when she walked in and i was digging in her hamper
this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
Only my sister would update her facebook status while going into labor.
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
Awesome morning. I just met my boyfriend's wife, should I have shaken her hand or was the hug a tad over the top?
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
I made everyone scream the national anthem with me after playing true American last night. I'm pretty much their leader now.
So I'm texting her. How do I steer the conversation toward "I honestly would be fine never seeing you again"?
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
I feel so accomplished. I've cleaned my room, done laundry, called those places, gotten jobs, and masturbated.
I'm so proud of you.
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