I just made princess spaghettios..and I wonder why she broke up with me for not being mature enough.
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
we got kicked out of McDonald's because you kept screaming THAT SHIT CRAY at the woman in front of us because she ordered a fish filet.
...that shit cray.
I would like to request a high five for getting laid while wearing crocs and a crab hat.
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
How do I say “I have great tits” without it sounding awful
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
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