DUDE. I'm missing my big toenail. My bed has blood all over it. WHAT DID WE DO LAST NIGHT?
I don't know, but I chipped my tooth and I'm wearing different underwear.
Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
I just saw a Kleenex commercial and thought about last night. I'm sorry about your hair.
You didn't want to have sex last night because you said your grandpa just died and you didn't want him watching..
just tell her a well fed dog doesnt stray far from the porch, and if that doesnt work just keep fucking her sisters
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
When I finally got there you were bleeding all over and you just kept saying over and over that the dog was your only friend at the party.
Doctor just prescribed me 20mg Ritalin 3 times a day. It's becoming the "grain and oats" section of my food triangle.
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
Woke up in a pile of people on the floor. His dad was already up and ask me to help him cook bacon because "7 lbs can be a mother fucker"
I either need to get adopted or have someone's baby, but I'm joining that family
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
he asked me why I let you steal the gnome, and you jumped out of the bathroom, yelled "you know why!" and ran outside with said gnome
Randomize
