I just remembered that last night when we tried to walk off the spins you said "pretend i'm your pet dinosaur" so i walked you around on an invisible leash while you made t-rex hissing noises.
I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
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First night in the new apartment. There are 12 people here i don't know, Tequila, and a crying girl locked in our bathroom. I think the apartment christening is complete.
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
at the hospital. he locked himself in the kitchen, said he was making beer batter shrimp. don't know if it's the mercury poisoning, alcohol poisoning or second degree burns they're holding him for, but i've got a pretty guess.
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
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I asked him how his night was and he sent me a picture of a bottle of Ciroc with a bendy straw...
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
If you left your bike out in front, I just watched some dude steal it.
My boob job is like a master key that gets me in any door, any party and anyone’s pants! They’re magical!
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