how do i say, "my ex is going to be at this party so don't look like shit" without sounding like a bitch?
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
Ya know what's been the best part of this College Football Season? Not having to hear Brent Musberger say the Honey Badger 77 fucking times.
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
I knew it was you who came home last night because no one else would walk in at 3 am and start microwaving a burrito
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
I'm not sure. I have to find the Greeks I was with last night and see if they can explain to me why I can't hear out of my right ear and why I look like I got the shit kicked out of me
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
My manager caught me going taking a nap in an empty room. Apparently she sleeps there too.
I paid for lunch, then he made a bunch of holes in my wall and destroyed my bathroom.
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
Randomize
