i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
Cops busted the party. A kid dressed as a dinosaur tried to crawl out the bathroom window but his tail got stuck. It took 3 cops to pry him out.
Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
We were trying to organize all the customers to hold a window pickle race. as of 10:37 pm last night we are no longer allowed in our McDonalds.
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
if I start to respond to these political texts with a middle finger emoji - do you think they will get the hint?
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