I just woke up surrounded in unopened snacks
Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
Theres was an instant understanding between us being drunk on the trampoline at four in the morning and the people walking down the road at the same time
we can't get the sharpie off the toilet seat from where you pressed your forearm with THUG LIFE written on it while you puked until 3 last night
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
Hot Damn Cinnamon Schnapps make me feel like the sun is punching me in the face and a bear is sleeping inside me.
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
I can always count on you to keep my boobs honest
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