i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
I can no longer count the number of girls I've banged on my fingers and toes. It's like being born again.
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
Do you think i can prewrite an apology on friday and leave it vague enough to just finish on sunday?
Johns diaper came in the mail. He's freaking out thinking there's some conspiracy going on since he sharted on the drive home from st. Louis
And tell the hostess not to worry, she's narcoleptic and fell asleep on the way to the bar, but she'll be fine in a few minutes.
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
Oh my god, it's like someone broke the off button in my butthole
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
we're at the bar celebrating my ex bootycall getting his new gf pregnant... and me narrowly escaping a future as kitty foreman
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
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