Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
Reason #82 that I need to get laid: my pubes are getting split ends.
I just found 51 cents in my bed. Did you leave me a tip?
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
If, when you wake up, you're wondering why you're in the bathtub, it's because when I tried to move you, you yelled that that was cheating and tried to kick me in the face.
Fair enough.
The guy who's car I hit last night just followed me on Twitter...not sure how to feel about it.
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
If that pentatonix bullshit is playing when I get home we're breaking up
Randomize
