No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
I can only imagine the horrible things my future wife is doing on spring break right now.
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
The leasing office is hiring, so I gave them my resume and class schedule. I doubt they'll call me considering last summer at their "exotic animal" pool party I marched in with a funnel and demanded the employees chug. I doubt they've forgotten.
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
I've shit my pants 4 times in 12 hours... Never trust a fart when u pass 30
I'm calling in my "fuck at anytime anywhere" card. Meet me at my place in 20 min, wear your Waldo costume.
I just crashed on my couch and have no intention of ever getting up again
I will be over with a bedpan and beer
You were so drunk you coat checked your shoe... Not even both of them. Just one shoe.
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
If those panties could talk.
"Once upon a time, Jenny got chlamydia from a magician. The end."
We were driving past a farm when he screamed at me to stop the car, then he jumped out and tried to ride a cow.
Randomize
