If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
He came on my face and told me I looked like a gingerbread house.
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
Can we talk about the fact that I plucked weed off your ass this morning like it's a normal thing to do?
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
Our lady landlord called. Dot worry, I handled it. Drunk. Tell her it was Nate. Done. Good. Bye. Drunk.
Make sure you wash your hands. That seagull you threw was very sick.
Gave his drunk ass water, & he poured it on my shirt while saying "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!" When reminded of it today he replied with, "at least you came in first place"
You're so sweet in the most vulgar ways
Coworker just walked in thirty minutes late reeking like weed and clutching a handful of scratch-off tickets. Also, there’s still a stripper pole in my office. Happy Wednesday!
Randomize
