You think if I promise to behave for the rest of my life, god will let me fuck her on the regular?
her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
I started making my dollar bills into rings for the strippers
Maybe I don't remember every single thing... I think there's a hi lighter treasure map drawn on my arm...
I just found it. I hope it leads to food.
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
She's in the bathroom. Literally just told me she could make a guy cum using just her words. Not bad for Sunday brunch.
I can't be here...my therapist just watched me take tequila shots
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
I asked if I could borrow some condoms. She referred to herself as "a soup kitchen for whores".
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
I think my liver just tried to kill me, we need to slow down
Randomize
