I didn't shave. On purpose
My mom just got knocked over by a rollerblader. I'm trying not to laugh, bc my family looks pretty concerned
Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
you drank a bottle of vodka and then while throwing up in my toilet you kept reminding me our hs reunion was in 2 yrs and it was time to start getting thin again anyway
Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
yeah, last night we handcuffed you and you started crying saying that you weren't a bad person
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