4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
I don't remember what happened but judging from the contents of my pockets it had something to do with potatoes and glo in the dark condoms
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
Dilemas of the modern woman: deciding whether or not to write on your ex's wall for his birthday. This is serious.
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
I had a dream I got back with Amanda. And then cheated on her the same day. Even my conscious is a dick
Sorry about my life...
We need a signal or code word for "I basically shaved my whole body and we should touch each other tonight".
Randomize
