they need to just BURY HIM!
After I tried for five minutes to hang my beer from the coat hanger in the bathroom , I have realized I am drunk
When i woke up this morning she asked me 'when did you first find out that you could see the future.' I gotta stop drinking.
On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
do you know how scary it is to wake up in a CATSCAN machine after a night of drinking?
I jerked off enough times today to safely commit to the fact that im not getting laid tonight
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
The joke is on me because whale penis is forever in my search history.
Worth it.
Mom kept me on a leash as a kid, did you know this?
When she went in the beer store I got to hold it.
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
My vibrator broke.
Dude it's been less than twelve hours. Did you sleep?
Don't worry about that. I need a new vibrator.
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