He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
who are you and why are you in my phone as dr. seuss
sorry for making everyone realize you look like bruce jenner
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
Of course he wants me there for his birthday. If a girl offers you a blowjob for every year of your life, you're gonna want her to be there.
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
I find it fascinating that she'd be more comfortable with her mom finding out she submits dirty disney confessions on tumblr than about her secret email account she uses to chat with dutch and brazilian strangers.
Have a glass of wine with dinner they said. Your hydrocodone has worn off they said... NOPE
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
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