sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
when did we get so old that our friends started having LEGITIMATE children?
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
You don't understand. If you watched a video of the shenanigans that occurred in my life over the past 48 hours you would gasp worse than the girl who witnessed me puking in my bag at the children's hospital
If a raisin and a desert had a bastard child that would be the inside of my mouth right now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There are two guys dressed like Spartans from 300 at this bar and they're making out and I needed you to know this
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
So from zero to dumpster fire, how shitty do you feel this morning? I'm hovering somewhere around trainwreck.
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
Randomize