I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He left his umbrella behind in my bed to 'keep me company', then stole my front door key before he went to work
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
My goal of the day is to not shit myself. That's it. Setting the bar real low
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
Give me like 5, I have to feed a moose and find my pants.
We're in an alley with a psychic wizard, shes reading our palms
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