mom and grandma are in town. grandma wants to get drunk with you
I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
Whenever I don't wipe thoroughly after shitting, I just think that anyone if anyone sticks their finger up my ass, they had it coming.
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
The difference between you and me last night was that I didn't remember getting into the cab and you didnt know we were in one.
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
Why let a Christmas Eve hangover ruin a perfectly good Christmas Day acid trip?
Oh god he’s a clown I fucked a rodeo clown
You claimed that someone else had vomited underneath you/on your hand
you were very insulted that we didn’t believe you that someone else vommed
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