Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
At least you're going to bed with all the teeth you woke up with
the hot woman interviewing me is reading jokes off the back of laffy taffy.... I'm getting laid and possibly a job
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
My dad is sitting where you rode me
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
Randomize
