he's my edward cullen
I am pretty sure Edward Cullen never had an all-day drinking binge topped off with some blow.
this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
getting caught by my parents in bed with another guy was way easier coming out than telling them over dinner like I had planned.
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
I was so high I didn't realize I'd put on someone else's bra. I thought my boobs had shrunk.
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
How do you nicely stand up a date that you're skipping for a 3sum
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Randomize
