Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
I can text with my tongue
but the lizard people decide everything anyway
See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
Just scheduled a cocaine deal around my drug counsler appointment. Why yes, thank you, I do enjoy the irony that is my life.
i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
Well you busted in the house and yelled with pride about Uber giving you a ride over with your new bong.
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
gonna guess the empty vodka bottle and open can of tuna in the bathroom drawer are related?
I planned out my poor life choices for the weekend.
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
Randomize
