it hurts more in the daytime
We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
I KNOW. I'm like, ew who are these ppl. And then I remember I'm traveling to New York to accidentally hook it with two different dudes in one weekend.
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
we are playing family charades. my sister pointed at me. everyone guessed alcoholic.
You're like the curious george of whores
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
Dude I live in a fucking closet and still get laid every weekend. Figure it out.
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
Dude so last night I was eating out my gf and her kitten climbed onto my back and fell asleep. AND SHE DIDN'T NOTICE FOR LIKE 10 MINUTES
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
I'm about to do something based solely on the fact that a fortune cookie told me to. This may not end well.
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