It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
Apparently I mistakenly called the hair club for men at 3am... they called me back this morning.
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
Mixing coffee with vodka may have been a bad choice, I feel like I'm pregnant and the baby is trying to perform a c-section from the inside.
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
He just said "I can't wait to penetrate you tomorrow" I sat in silence for a second...he attempted to save it by saying "I can't wait to enter you".
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
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