It's like a parade of train wrecks.
Walk of Shame. In a state park.
(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
Immaculate conception is definitely the most boring way to conceive a child.
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
Shitshow foam night was such a success
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
All three of my roommates have their significant others over. We're all hanging out in the living room. It's like I'm the trifecta of third-wheeling
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
as I was leaving in the morning with his clothes on his roommate pops up and goes 'don't you dare steal that shirt, i gave it to him for his birthday'.
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
I need a significant other who'll eat Skittles from my boobs
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