Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
I stole a road cone for their 13 yr old son. Apparently I told him to put Christmas lights on it, and "treat her like a lady."
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
oh no, im for sure still drunk. i wana eat evrything in the fancy feast commercial... everything
The 19 Strangest Things People Use To Get Off
The kid next to me is typing a powerpoint presentation.. title: Reasons to Wear a Condom, subtitle: The Ian Story
The first slide was titled: You Could Get a Girl Pregnant.
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
If you try to operate on me with a Bic pen and vodka, I'm never talking to you again
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
These 25 Normal Couples Tried Porn Moves During Sex And It Ended Horribly
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
Why is there no Netflix category for "I just wanna cry, but I don't have time for a whole romcom"?
Also, my old intern Lizzie whom you fed pizza to last night wants to hang out with you
How to not get laid: tell him he reminds you of your brother. While having sex. Thanks, vodka.
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.