Texts From Last Night

• Favorite

  (804): View more from Virginia

  my fingers and penis are no longer on speaking terms. My penis is too jealous of where my fingers get to go.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (804): my fingers and penis are no longer on speaking terms. My penis is too jealous of where my fingers get to go. http://tfl.nu/0t5u
  Replies (26) Good night (4548) Bad night (1390)
• Favorite

  (501): View more from Arkansas

  i just woke up with two martini umbrellas taped to my nipples... idk how they got there

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (501): i just woke up with two martini umbrellas taped to my nipples... idk how they got there http://tfl.nu/kuz7
  Replies (17) Good night (4790) Bad night (659)
• Favorite

  (204): View more from Manitoba

  My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (204): My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash http://tfl.nu/m3vz
  Replies (15) Good night (7620) Bad night (853)
• Favorite

  (270): View more from Kentucky

  She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (270): She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill http://tfl.nu/d0h5
  Replies (16) Good night (646) Bad night (4476)
• Favorite

  (608): View more from Wisconsin

  he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (608): he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily. http://tfl.nu/l76l
  Replies (40) Good night (4152) Bad night (4809)
• Favorite

  (706): View more from Georgia

  Peed on my phone. Dried it out in oven. Technology is both a plus and a minus.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (706): Peed on my phone. Dried it out in oven. Technology is both a plus and a minus. http://tfl.nu/wtrd
  Replies (16) Good night (929) Bad night (3574)
• Favorite

  (315): View more from New York

  He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (315): He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender http://tfl.nu/9vxe
  Replies (23) Good night (1918) Bad night (4610)
• Favorite

  (641): View more from Iowa

  she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (641): she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"... http://tfl.nu/ydyy
  Replies (11) Good night (1196) Bad night (3999)
• Favorite

  (760): View more from California

  I found you laying in the kitchen with a bottle of vodka and a slice of bologna on your face. You said you were having a spa day.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (760): I found you laying in the kitchen with a bottle of vodka and a slice of bologna on your face. You said you were having a spa day. http://tfl.nu/8ipd
  Replies (4) Good night (3102) Bad night (681)
• Favorite

  (647): View more from Ontario

  I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (647): I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday. http://tfl.nu/lj8p
  Replies (9) Good night (1669) Bad night (450)
• Favorite

  (647): View more from Ontario

  i want to go make food but i'll have to face my mom after telling her that the random i'm sleeping with, whose name i don't know, told me I was "too slutty to be his girlfriend" when i was drunk last night

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (647): i want to go make food but i'll have to face my mom after telling her that the random i'm sleeping with, whose name i don't know, told me I was "too slutty to be his girlfriend" when i was drunk last night http://tfl.nu/8b8u
  Replies (6) Good night (450) Bad night (1274)
• Favorite

  (314): View more from Missouri

  Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (314): Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back. http://tfl.nu/xqdn
  Replies (4) Good night (1137) Bad night (345)
• Favorite

  (551): View more from New Jersey

  She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (551): She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot. http://tfl.nu/527s
  Replies (3) Good night (936) Bad night (301)
• Favorite

  (701): View more from North Dakota

  So I'm pretty sure I told every one at the party that "I'm going to fuck my pillow pets tonight?"

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (701): So I'm pretty sure I told every one at the party that "I'm going to fuck my pillow pets tonight?" http://tfl.nu/ca7z
  Replies (1) Good night (291) Bad night (762)
• Favorite

  (609): View more from New Jersey

  I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (609): I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me. http://tfl.nu/juje
  Replies (3) Good night (404) Bad night (170)

Randomize