I'm not a real person
I'm sorry, everyone knows that
We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
Guy Accidentally Starts A Group Chat With All The Girls He’s Talking To And Gets Absolutely Roasted
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
I knew I was high when I wanted to write a poem about how great it felt to wash my face
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
Just did a walk of shame dressed as a cowgirl and walked past his ex's entire sorority. Yippee kye aye, motherfucker.
The Internet Is Obsessed With This Stripper Who Dropped It Low Just To Eat A Slice Of Pizza
She told me she's dating him because his apartment is a block from Taco Bell. I don't know how she's not fat.
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
I saved a note for myself but all it said was "am I a slutty Holden Caulfield?"
Currently googling hangover cures, which looks a lot like working from the perspective of my boss.
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
Went home last night with that hot British guy. Sounded like I was f-ing in a Harry Potter movie.
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