Texts From Last Night

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  (702): View more from Nevada

  I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore

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  (702): I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore http://tfl.nu/l7gt
  Replies (37) Good night (5588) Bad night (2122)
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  (706): View more from Georgia

  Just walked past a girl wearing nothing but flip flops and an oversized sweatshirt crying by the front gates eating pizza. i just found your soulmate.

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  (706): Just walked past a girl wearing nothing but flip flops and an oversized sweatshirt crying by the front gates eating pizza. i just found your soulmate. http://tfl.nu/5lpe
  Replies (13) Good night (6006) Bad night (1127)
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  (206): View more from Washington

  He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...

  (1-206): View more from Washington

  He obviously understands you completely.

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  (206): He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes... (1-206): He obviously understands you completely. http://tfl.nu/r2fl
  Replies (7) Good night (4874) Bad night (929)
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  (850): View more from Florida

  Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here

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  (850): Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here http://tfl.nu/hhg1
  Replies (16) Good night (5416) Bad night (1197)
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  (703): View more from Virginia

  I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills

  (262): View more from Wisconsin

  how else could I explain the last few years

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  (703): I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills (262): how else could I explain the last few years http://tfl.nu/wfh1
  Replies (7) Good night (3991) Bad night (1006)
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  (870): View more from Arkansas

  She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...

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  (870): She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again... http://tfl.nu/jy0r
  Replies (18) Good night (4887) Bad night (1418)
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  (913): View more from Kansas

  My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.

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  (913): My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism. http://tfl.nu/e4gb
  Replies (8) Good night (1919) Bad night (760)
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  (727): View more from Florida

  You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?

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  (727): You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you? http://tfl.nu/l34c
  Replies (31) Good night (3070) Bad night (655)
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  (713): View more from Texas

  There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special

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  (713): There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special http://tfl.nu/6w5y
  Replies (5) Good night (1636) Bad night (532)
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  (479): View more from Arkansas

  I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital

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  (479): I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital http://tfl.nu/kjdp
  Replies (9) Good night (933) Bad night (426)
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  (520): View more from Arizona

  Anywho, an ostrich attacked me today. Fucking useless pieces of shit birds.

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  (520): Anywho, an ostrich attacked me today. Fucking useless pieces of shit birds. http://tfl.nu/3cpt
  Replies (6) Good night (1281) Bad night (379)
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  (773): View more from Illinois

  I totally forgot about finals week. im the worst adderall salesman ever.

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  (773): I totally forgot about finals week. im the worst adderall salesman ever. http://tfl.nu/ci2r
  Replies (3) Good night (351) Bad night (670)
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  (603): View more from New Hampshire

  'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.

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  (603): 'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES. http://tfl.nu/23ze
  Replies (1) Good night (504) Bad night (233)
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  (402): View more from Nebraska

  Not gonna make it. My ovaries are playing laser tag

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  (402): Not gonna make it. My ovaries are playing laser tag http://tfl.nu/vpku
  Replies (1) Good night (417) Bad night (352)
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  (416): View more from Toronto

  Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.

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  (416): Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever. http://tfl.nu/quf9
  Replies (4) Good night (264) Bad night (531)

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