Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
i made the cop pinkie-promise not to arrest me if i failed the breathalizer.
time to smoke my breakfast
21 Of The Most Impressive Things Ever Seen In Porn
Any particular reason you put 2 smashed up limes in my back pocket last night?
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
In hindsight buying the pill crusher with my vicodin prescription might have been too much.
Dear Beer Goggles, it's time to see the eye doctor. With love, your biggest fan.
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You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
Nothing says "future AA member" like bonging 40's out of a plastic flamingo.
I fill condoms, not promises.
I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
I swear I get as excited about the sound of a condom wrapper as my cat gets when she's getting a can of food.