this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
Just ate lunch with a paperclip again. Seriously, need to invest in plastic forks.
sorry about calling you the devil all night.
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
If people don't want my drunken phone call then TAKE YOUR FUCKING NUMER OFF OF FACEBOOK, like it's just that easy...
Cuz last time you told me I was going to be shocked about something you got a hand job from a stripper in canada
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
Is it too forward to say "stop being a good friend and start being a good fuck buddy"
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
Sometimes I refuse to go through a door until someone holds it open for me because I'm a fucking lady.
Nothing like sitting at your midterm pissed at yourself because you put your graphing calculator batteries in your vibrator and forgot to put them back in before the exam 😑