I didn't slap you in the face. TEQUILA slapped you with my hand...
he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
so i walk in and shes blowing her vag with a hair dryer. so i asked what she was doing, she said heating up supper.. come eat ;)
i'm so jealous of you right now.
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
I joined a mariachi band. they gave me a guitar because i told them i could play. It actually turned out ok
They kicked me out of the mariachi band. Turns out I'm not that good
it was like getting a handjob from robocop
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
I left after he drunkenly went into the kitchen and started to make eggs with a shitload of garlic. First time I'd ever had a makeout session interrupted by eggs.
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
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