All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
i called him pencil dick in front of over half of his fraternity brothers...
...never gotten so many high fives in my life! fuck ya i win!
I picked her up for our first date on a fucking horse. Of course I got a BJ.
Today I met the neighbor that shares my bedroom wall. When I pointed out my unit, he said, "Oh, that's you? Oh... that's you." I didn't think much of it until I was in bed tonight and I heard him clear his throat. He's. Heard. Everything.
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
What vodka is american?
Skyy. I already looked it up for 4th of july.
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
You coulda licked the floor this morning and got drunk.
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
I spent the money she owed me on enough magnum condoms to make a blimp. Damn right I'm going to make the best of it.
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
Randomize
