I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
No I'm not proud of you for not sleeping with him. He has herpes. You don't get a gold star for behaving how you're expected to. Trust me. I'm a teacher.
He said he loved me so I pretended not to hear it because I don't think "I love your penis" was the response he was looking for.
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
I just opened my filing cabinet at work for the first time in months. It looks just like my pantry: nothing but peanut butter and whiskey.
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
I drew you a picture of Jesus holding hands with Frida Kahlo as a token of my gratitude
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
Randomize
