we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
Her cooch smelled like a combination of bacon and sweat.
She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
My life is a clusterfuck of men and disorderly priorities right meow.
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
I just put on lipstick to sext him. That should tell you where my love life is at.
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
Bruh. You offered the cashier tater tots that you had stuffed in your pocket.
Yeah, and? She might've been hungry.
Randomize
