Ways to know you did something wrong: you sugar-coated it for your therapist.
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
If I was 5 years younger and single...
She STILL wouldn't fuck you.
There's a certain feeling that only comes from wearing pearls to hide hickeys
he's singing something in russian and knocking over my plants with his dick, get his drunk ass out of my apartment
HE STUCK IT IN THE FISHBOWL WTF
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
Girls - I think I have a problem with stealing random shit when I'm drunk.
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
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