in the morning i found her name, number and address on one of the empty pizza boxes. also said "ps. if you find my shoes please mail to me."
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
No subtext here. People are naked.
So, during a 20 minute shower I spent 19 minutes spinning in circles and 1 minute licking the wall, and it was better than sex. I can't wait to do X again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
I feel miserable and there's nutella all over my phone
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
How in the fuck did you get LIVE MOTHER FUCKING BATS!?!?! Into my ROOM last night????
I woke up and there was a tiny sombrero on my penis. Care to explain?
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