Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
oh, and bring over your fire extinguisher. we're gonna get the mailman again
what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm walking down the street with a Starbucks in one hand and a flask in the other. People seem to have a staring problem
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
So after he broke the crutches and got us kicked out of McDonalds, we stole a bike and when we got back to the hotel, he jumped out the window into the bushes.
Yeah when he is drunk, he seems to think he is Captain Americas Canadian counterpart, Captain Canuck
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm laying here half naked telling him I'm eating gold fish to change the subject of hookin up cuz I don't wanna put pants on
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
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