belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
you're a mystery wrapped in an enigma. wrapped inside a burrito.
Dude, you walked in on me 5 times each times you had a different person with you. And each time you lifted the covers up and said 'whats going on in here'
You pissed off the back deck while listening to the national anthem from your phone screaming America Fuck Yea to my neighbors
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
My sweat smells like Wild Turkey. I'm really feeling the holiday spirit.
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
That moment when you sit down to shit and someone is watching porn on the other side of the wall.
and then after the older sorority girl asked me his name she said "he gave me the rest of his mcdonalds and I decided to go home with him. it was the best that I could hope for my night"
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
I'll text you tomorrow when I'm not in someone's torture cave if I don't by noon call for help.
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