What happened to the watermelon?
You fucked it.
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
If you're wondering where your left shoe is you lost it in a bet with a homeless guy last night
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
How was the picnic?
We played softball, except our team sucked. In one hand was a mitt, the other a beer.
Why didn't you put them down?
No beer left behind.
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
What's the best way to tell a guy he can call me when his impending divorce is finalized?
Randomize
