But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
I think its safe to assume that the 40yr old undergraduate with purple and pink in her hair and a tattoo of the eiffel tower above her ass crack has never actually been to Paris...
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
He left stubble rash on my thighs and cooked me bacon before 9am. I need to lock this down STAT
Omg my brain. Most recent thought: I fucking prayed in the bathroom that the other girl would leave. Prayed to Jesus
I just opened a beer with a child's toy at a 5 year olds birthday....can you look up the next AA meeting?!!
I walked in on my sister eating my leftover burrito naked. How could my night have gotten any worse?
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