The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
Things on my life to do list: hold a pound of marijuana. Check.
I just rubbed my dick on something in your apartment. Can you guess what?
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
his teacher called to say he gave a girl on the playground a rock to touch his penis. proudest moment of my fatherhood
I just caught myself watching and Irish step dance documentary in my underwear drinking nyquil through a straw at 2 in the afternoon. today's off to a good start.
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
Some old chick is rubbing my thigh and saying she needs some Memorial Day dick. Her teeth are kind of gross but I'm going for it.
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
Just got the test results back; apparently I'm red-green colorblind. this explains the past 18 years of my life and i'm wondering why i didn't realize this sooner
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