fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
We must be getting old. All of our friends are having kids and they aren't illegitimate.
I have surprise drugs for everyone
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
Of course, you have to give the courtesy text like last night when I told you my dick was gonna smell like peppermint
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
Working nightshift means its never too early to start drinking- and you can quote me on that
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
I woke up on the couch screaming in pain. I don't know how ended up there or why my foot was double the size. all I know is I'm now in a cast and never drinking tequila again. worst hangover ever.
Randomize
