In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
Liz and I are now offficially highest. OH, and your girlfriend may be a vampire. Heads up. SPARKLESSSSS
Put my glitter back.
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
woke up this morning with pubes superglued to my face, not my pubes
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
While looking for an apartment, I've realized that the way I rate balconies is on the "how easy would it be to smoke weed here" scale.
What other scale is there?
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
I can only send "I want your dick" texts to so many guys before I accidentally over-book myself. I need a day planner.
The guy had great intentions when throwing us free beer off the balcony... but of course I was the one to get hit in the face because that's the kind of luck I have
I spent $31 at mcdonalds last night. Threw my nuggets all over the yard, ate them out of the snow, picked a fight about it, vomited, then passed out.
Naked.
My sister just poured me a dbl Ciroc on the rocks and said "the ice makes it festive." Honestly what a role model.
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
Randomize
