Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
Just set all my clocks a minute apart. Now my 4:20 is longer by sixfold
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
Walking out of our apartment this morning to go to class, I saw a sticky note on the front door that said "get tested." The door was unlocked so did you bring some stranger back last night? I'm assuming you weren't referring to me...
I couldn't tell you were laughing too hard
Dude I thought I set my hair on fire. I wasn't laughing I was screaming.
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
I'm still, like... really stoked about not having any STDs
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
That's good to know, because I will be doing terrible things to you. Terrible things, John, wicked, evil, maniacal things shall happen to you and I will have the audacity to call it sex
STILL COMPLETELY OKAY WITH THIS
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize
