I just saw a man vacuming his front lawn. What is this world coming to?
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
Whoever invented the gimlet should be given a medal and then shot
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
Hooked up with an ex Playgirl model. I feel like the universe just high-fived me for staying sober.
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
walked into my room this morning clutching two empty bottles of sminoff to find my roommate's ultra conservative parents staring at my posters of naked men. fuck parents weekend.
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
Would you be opposed to me keeping a live lobster in the shower for a bit?
I called him my big strong man today. It's all downhill from here. Matching Christmas sweaters, here we come
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