So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign.
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
I may or may not be taking a bath listening to the Phantom of the Opera. This lovely moment brought to you by xanax.
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
I forgot to pack a bra for work today...you would not believe the extremes i've had to go through in order to keep these nips from my coworkers
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
There's going to be a velveeta shortage. I'm not drunk any more, this is just dire info.
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?
No, hooters.
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
Randomize
